Gotten
by breakingatthecracks
Summary: What shocks Santana the most is the fact that when she pulls back from her former lover's kiss, it's not even Dani that crosses her mind. [Quinntana one-shot; inspired by the 100th ep]


**A/N: So, I made something because there wasn't enough Quinntana in the 100th episode. The title is from the Slash song of the same title. I swear to God, check it out. It's so Quinntana it hurts.**

* * *

_What the fuck is a Biff anyway? Who the hell names their kid 'Biff'?_

Santana has a million thoughts swimming in her head.

Isn't it already bad enough that she's back in this hell hole again, trying to stomach Schuester and his itch for making everything so fucking sentimental? Why did she have to be in this with Rachel Berry who's still trying to convince everyone that she's better than the rest of them?

She still doesn't understand why Rachel is acting very much like her sophomore self—that girl goes around acting like she has something to prove to anyone. She's back to her solo-hungry, selfish self; not that Santana is surprised.

Some people change, and some people don't.

Or maybe some people just love going back to old patterns. With Rachel Berry, either the old or the new, everyone is a competition.

The whole understudy thing has been blown out of proportion.

It's not like she's planning to go all _Pretty Little Liars_ on her. Being her understudy never meant that she ever planned on sabotaging Rachel and her big Broadway dream.

To Santana, being the Fanny Brice understudy was where she's planning to start whatever future she's trying to build for herself. But Rachel Berry doesn't understand that and Santana has long stopped trying to make her.

Cherry on top, Brittany is here, lost and confused and yet again, Santana feels incredibly accountable for bringing her back on track. Sure, Brittany as a Math genius is all sorts of hot but the best version of Brittany is the one that comes out when she's dancing. On the dance floor, Brittany Pierce is one hell of a woman.

She can't unsee that moment when Brittany just casually mentioned scissoring her but that doesn't worry her, Brittany has always been this bold.

She just can't believe the fact that when Brittany mentioned it, it didn't turn her on, not even a little bit.

.

But out of all the things that make her breasts ache with rage, top of the list is Quinn.

_Quinn fuckin' Fabray_, her highness.

She thought Quinn has learned her lesson. She thought that Quinn was done with men—or at least men that aren't worth her time. But guess what, some people don't change.

Or maybe, they just love going back to old patterns.

.

_The Boyfriend _didn't even glance at their _Toxic _performance.

What guy can focus on his phone when three unbelievably hot girls are dancing to a Britney Spears classic in front of him? What guy can focus on his phone when Quinn Fabray—_the Quinn Fabray_—is dancing and singing around wearing _that _skirt.

Biff, _The Boyfriend_, is some kind of an asshole. Is this the nth time Santana thought he's an asshole? Maybe, but she doesn't care.

Santana credits all her rage to her protective bestfriend instincts but she knows that it doesn't explain the fact that when Quinn touched her during their performance, Santana felt like her skin was on fire.

It also doesn't explain Santana's _strong _urge to punch Biff in the face everytime he puts his arms around Quinn's waist.

_Jesus Christ, I'm such a mess_.

.

Santana officially meets _The Boyfriend _at Breadstix.

Sure, he's Quinn's type: handsome, rich, smart. He's also an asshole which Santana completely understands because Quinn has some sort of kink for guys who make her feel like a trophy.

She kept saying she doesn't want to be her mom. But here she is, giving _Judy Fabray _a run for her money.

"You don't have the right to say that! I am not my mother!" Quinn yells at her furiously once they're alone in the bathroom.

She dragged Quinn here to give her a piece of her mind. Santana doesn't want Biff to hear what she thinks of him because, let's face it, no one with that kind of hair can ever handle a classic Santana Lopez insult.

"Oh, really, Quinn? Because from where I'm standing right now, you're beginning to look exactly like her!"

Quinn glares at her.

For a moment there, Santana thought she was going to slap her.

She wouldn't be surprised.

She and Quinn have awesome ways of reuniting: Thanksgiving, they're slapping each other, Valentine's Day, they're fucking.

"Get out of my way, Santana," Quinn mutters under her breath.

Santana shakes her head as she keeps her hand on the bathroom door, keeping it shut. Who cares about any other customers wanting to use the bathroom? Everybody knows Santana Lopez runs this place.

"Q, I'm just—"

"Don't 'Q' me, Santana!"

"What is your problem? Why have you been avoiding me?" Santana gets the courage to finally ask.

Quinn had been avoiding her since… God knows when.

After that fateful Valentine's night last year, she and Quinn have been really good friends. The _gay panic _she expected from Quinn didn't come and instead, they've been closer than ever. They didn't talk about it or made jokes about it but they've been acting like _real friends _since that night.

That's until lately, like about a few months ago when Quinn—her bestfriend—have started to act distant. She didn't even tell her she's seeing this Apple guy for three months now.

"I'm not avoiding you."

"Yeah, that's why you can't wait to get out of this bathroom right now."

Silence.

Something between them shifts along with the entirety of Quinn's persona. She's instantly softer now, like she's dying to say something she doesn't know how to. "Talk to me, Quinn," Santana says, stepping closer.

Quinn immediately steps back, "No, Santana. Don't."

Santana sees pain in Quinn's eyes.

_Why the hell is this making my heart ache?_

"What's wrong, Q?"

"Nothing," that and Quinn storms out of bathroom—and Breadstix actually, taking _The Boyfriend _with her.

It's probably for the best because _I swear to God if I hear one more word from him, I'd punch someone in the face and it's not gonna be pretty_.

.

While everyone was busy paying attention to Kurt, Rachel, and Mercedes sing 'Defying Gravity', Santana's attention is on the girl sitting next to her.

Quinn is watching the performance in all her lady-like glory. It's unfair, Santana thinks, because even though she will never admit it out loud, Quinn is the most beautiful girl she knows—flaws and all. That's saying something because she was in love with Brittany for quite a long time and yet, not even Brittany rivalled Quinn Fabray's face, or hair, or personality.

Sure, Brittany is beautiful in her own way but Santana, ever since she first met her, have associated the word _beautiful _with Quinn.

_Who wouldn't?_

At some point during the performance, Quinn glances at her and meets her eyes and Santana could swear she saw something in them; something close to longing; something akin to _love_.

She shakes her head as she blinks that thought away.

_It couldn't be._

.

Santana's inner struggle stops momentarily when she found the perfect time to redo _Valerie_.

There is no way she could let Brittany's talent go to waste. A girl like Brittany cannot just sit in one place playing a human chess match against a smarter version of Siri. It's weird and she feels bad.

Sure, things have shifted a lot between her and Brittany but Brittany's the one that helped her out of her crisis when she was in the exact same position.

Brittany sent her on her way and it's about time she returns the favor.

_Okay, that sounded so wrong_.

It was the wrong phrase to use but you get the picture.

Soon as she got Brittany dancing again and soon as she saw Brittany's light starting to shine amid that _Valerie _performance, her mind wanders back to that one girl in the audience.

_Who the fuck wears a skirt and blouse like that to a Glee club reunion? And a pearl necklace, really?_

It irks her that Quinn is starting to bloom into her own woman now; it irks her and relieves her at the same time. And Santana has never been more certain that _that woman? _That woman doesn't need a man to achieve something.

She knows—through Facebook—that Quinn has been doing really well in Yale. She's starting over. She's becoming something more than the girl who got pregnant at 16 and who got wheelchair-ed in senior year.

Then it hits Santana.

She started hearing less from Quinn when she went Facebook-public with Dani.

_It couldn't be_.

.

The realization hits her hardest when Puck started singing _Keep Holding On_. She's dancing there in the background just like old times but she's almost in tears by the end of the song.

If it wasn't for Rachel's huge nose, she would have cried.

That song reminds her of what a horrible person she was when Quinn was pregnant but at the same time, that song reminds her of how far Quinn's gone since sophomore year.

If she was just one for sentiments, she'd walk over to Quinn and hug her, tell her she's doing great.

But Puck's already on it before Santana could make any kind of move.

And Santana couldn't help but feel her stomach churn.

She thinks it should have been her singing that song. She thinks she should be the one doing something.

Here she is again, making Quinn an afterthought.

Maybe, it applies to her too: some people don't change. Or maybe, some people just love going back to old patterns.

She tries hard not to walk out after that performance and she would have if it only didn't cause a scene. She didn't want to be there because one, Rachel Berry is giving Quinn moon eyes again and two, because she can't take the sight of Quinn crying.

.

Her confusion makes her snap at Rachel, thus that old-school Santana Lopez monologue.

She meant every word, though. Plus, the sight of Kurt with his head down in embarrassment is worth it. That one's really funny.

What no one else knows though that snapping at Rachel is just Santana's way of reminding Quinn the kind of person she really is. Not the one that bullied Rachel but the one that gave up the one thing she always wanted to get in high school just to get Rachel Berry her confidence back.

Snapping is a little non-traditional, and sure she would have said it in a nicer way, but it's not Santana Lopez if it's not harsh.

And frankly, she does not regret it. Rachel had it coming.

She still votes for Rachel,though, because Santana's an _awful_ and _cruel _person but she's not a hypocrite. Rachel is talented and the only way Santana will ever admit that is via her anonymous vote.

.

Santana was looking for Quinn when she hears the conversation.

"Wha—_a baby? _I mean, what happens if we get married and this kid shows up looking for money? Are you crazy?"

Santana doesn't know what she hates more: the horrible _Beth _reference or the fact that Biff thinks they're ever gonna get married.

She feels sick hearing Quinn plead for his forgiveness and understanding. She feels sick that she desperately wants to step out of the other side of the freaking school bus and give this mama's boy what he deserves.

"You are the worst kind of hypocrite. You walk around like you're snow freakin' white but you're really just a dirty little slut bag—"

_Holy mother of God. You fuckin' didn't_.

Without even thinking about it, she steps out from the other side of the bus. It makes her proud to see Quinn already giving him a hard pinch on the nose—and it somehow makes Santana smile because Quinn Fabray is adorable.

_What? I didn't think that._

But it wasn't enough.

After pulling Quinn to the side as Puck beats the shit out of Biff, Santana steps forward and shoves Puck to the side. "Let me," she tells him, giving Biff a dark glare before she punches him square on the face.

_God, I haven't punched someone this hard for the longest time_.

Santana and Puck drag him to the nearest dumpster and they both give him what every Lima loser has experienced in McKinley. Biff had it coming and if it wasn't for Quinn getting in the middle of it all, the boytoy would have gotten worse.

"What do you think you're doing, Santana?" Quinn asks her after Puck storms out, poor Biff ignored in the background.

"I'm showing you that you can do so much better than this guy, Q."

"Why do you care so much, Santana?"

That stops her for a moment because she sees it again in Quinn's eyes—that heartbreaking look that looks a lot like love, and longing.

"You're my bestfriend, Quinn."

"Yeah, until you slept with me."

Biff reacts, "Wha—"

"Shut up!" both Quinn and Santana snap at him. They glare at him for a second before turning their attention back to each ther.

"I thought we were okay!"

"Yeah, I thought so, too!" Quinn yells, her voice breaking mid-sentence, before she walks out.

.

Brittany kisses her with the intent of getting back together.

It's unexpected.

But what shocks Santana the most is the fact that when she pulls back from her former lover's kiss, it's not even Dani that crosses her mind.

.

"Quinn, wait!" Santana calls out when she sees Quinn walking to her car that night.

"We have nothing to talk about, Santana."

"We have a lot, actually," she says, slamming the car door shut just as Quinn was about to open it.

Quinn sighs, "I just want to go home. I'm tired, S."

"I am, too, believe me. There's no workout that can ever prepare me for that Defying Gravity smackdown."

Quinn smiles a bit.

And Santana takes that as a good sign.

They're silent for a while, Santana searching Quinn's face for any sort of expression and Quinn looking everywhere but Santana.

"Brittany wants to get back together."

Quinn finally looks her in the eyes, "What?"

"Yeah," Santana says, letting the rest of the word trail. She leans on the side of Quinn's car—"Wait, you're driving again?" she asks, a smile helplessly tugging at her lips, when she notices it.

Quinn nods slowly, a small smile escaping her face, "For about four months now."

"That's great, Quinn."

Santana's heart swells with something akin to pride but also with something similar to love.

"I tried to avoid that road today, though."

"How did you feel about driving to school the first day we were here?"

"Weird."

"Still scared the shit out of you?"

Quinn sighs, "Kind of but I got over it. It's so much better to drive myself here than ask my drunk mother to do it."

Santana nods.

_Silence_.

Again.

Somehow, the familiar silence makes Santana's heart beat fast. She doesn't how to be like this with Quinn. It feels comforting and it feels good; it feels like home.

She has felt this before, she knows. Because it always felt like this with Quinn. Even with their constant fights and banter, moments like this always send her back to the reason why she and Quinn are friends.

It's always been so simple with her. Quinn and Santana? They've always been so simple. And yes, that's weird given how complicated they both are but adding two negatives makes a positive, right?

Quinn clears her throat, "So, I guess you and Brittany are _together again_." She doesn't look at Santana but Santana doesn't miss the way something else crosses her face.

"Do you think we should?"

Quinn shrugs. "I don't know. You guys are what, soulmates?" she asks with a chuckle, a bitter one that is.

"Why didn't you come back to New York, Q? Why didn't you ever visit me after Valentine's?"

"I got—"

"—busy?" Santana interrupts her with a snort as she looks away. "Of course. You got busy."

"Why didn't you go to New Haven instead?"

"'Cause I got understand what _busy _means, Q."

_Silence_. Because _busy _is Quinn's code for _I'm not ready_.

"I was going to visit you but then, there was Dani," Quinn admits.

"I was waiting for you and you never came so then, there was Dani. And then, there's Biff and what, Puckerman, too?"

"And there's Brittany."

"We have to stop making all of these excuses, Q."

Quinn looks at her and there's that look again. It makes Santana's knees weak, her heart beat faster than usual.

_Damn, Quinn_.

"It's too late to do that now."

"I told Brittany we're not getting back together."

Quinn's eyes instantly shine with something Santana hasn't seen in her a while. It's not just love.

It's something a lot more than that.

_It's achingly similar to hope_.

"Why not? Santana, she loves you."

"And I love her but not in that way anymore."

"Oh," Quinn manages.

After a few seconds of silence, Santana asks, "What's your plan now?"

Quinn bites her lip as she leans on the car just a few beats away from Santana, "I don't know. Go back to Yale, go on with my life. Try _not_ to be my mother."

Santana chuckles, "You're so much more than that. I mean, I should know, right? Damn—"

Quinn laughs and blushes profusely, "Shut up, Santana!"

"Never."

They share a laugh for what feels like a long time.

Santana decides that she likes making Quinn blush. It's a good look on her.

"Are you still busy?"

Quinn looks at her and Santana hopes she got the message.

Quinn takes a deep, brave breath. She smoothens out her dress and nods gently, "I have some things I need to fix with Puck. I'm gonna need to visit Beth before I go back to Yale. Then, fix a few things over there."

"Biff?"

"Yeah. I still need to punch him for calling me names."

Santana laughs, "Punch him twice, tell him the other one is from the Glee Club."

"Had Rachel Berry been there—"

"—oh, that guy would get a mouthful of big words."

They share a laugh, again and suddenly, Santana doesn't know how to _not _be in this moment. She doesn't even know if she wants to _not _be in this moment.

With all the courage she has, Santana grabs Quinn hand and intertwines their fingers.

"Hey, are you ever gonna fix things with Rachel?" Quinn asks nonchalant without taking her hand away from Santana.

"Yeah, in her dying bed."

Quinn snorts, "Santana."

"What? The girl's a bitch."

Quinn only rolls her eyes.

"Whatever. I'm quitting the understudy thing anyway."

Quinn turns to her, "Why?"

Santana shrugs. "I don't know. Coming back here made realize so much about a lot of things."

"Like?"

"Like how I hate musical theater."

The other girl laughs and it instantly warms Santana up. How Quinn does that to her? She has no idea.

"That's more like the Santana I know."

"What's she like?"

"Who?"

"The _Santana _you know."

"Stubborn and irritating," she replies and smiles. She then continues, "She's also brave and she likes to write songs when she's alone."

Santana nods, "I think I know her."

"Yeah, she's just out there."

Santana takes a deep breath as she lifts herself off the side of Quinn's car. She looks Quinn in the eyes as she kisses the top of her hand, "I'll go back to New York tomorrow to… _fix _things."

She hopes Quinn got the message.

"Yeah?"

Santana nods, "When you're done being busy, you know where to find me."

Quinn manages a small smile.

Santana lets go of Quinn's hand and presses a soft kiss on her cheek before she starts walking to her car which was on the other side of the parking lot.

"Santana?"

"Hmm?" she hums as she turns around.

"I missed you."

Santana smiles, "Me too, Q."

_You have no idea_.

Quinn smiles back at her.

Santana looks at her, "I left a key for you under the mat."

Quinn tilts her head, not fully understanding what Santana just said, "What?"

Santana rolls her eyes, "I said I left a key under the mat. I bet it's dusty now given it's been there for almost a year now—and we never change the mat—but yeah, there's a key under the mat and it's always been yours."

Quinn's eyes widen in surprise but only for a moment. She smiles afterwards, realizing what it all meant.

So maybe, there's a reason they found themselves back here in this hell hole. To Quinn and Santana, maybe this is it. Maybe, you need to come home to where it all started to know how to proceed from there.

Santana just smiles and then walks back to her car, her fingers secretly crossed; her mind wishing that it works this time.

.

Three weeks later, deep in the night, Santana goes home from yet another one of her auditions. It's been quite a week: music video testings, voice lessons, and the new _singer _job she got at a nearby bar that features many independent musicians.

She's keying the front door when she realizes that someone had moved the mat. It's obvious because the dust of the hallway has formed the shape of the mat. Santana peeks under it and notices that _Quinn's key _is gone.

And suddenly, there are butterflies in her stomach.

She opens the front door and steps inside.

The apartment smells like dinner for the first time in such a long time.

With her heart beating fast and her knees growing weak, Santana makes a wild and hopeful guess, "Quinn?"

A beat passes without a sound but then she hears _it_.

"Your house is a mess," the owner of that voice says as she steps out of the bathroom, hair up in a ponytail and hands covered with gloves.

"Did you just clean the bathroom?" Santana asks, trying to fight the tears. Tears of what? She's not sure.

"Well, I'm no longer busy so I came in early—and had nothing to do."

"So, you cleaned? The bathroom?"

The other girl shrugs. "The Pillsbury Syndrome, I guess."

The joke isn't even funny but Santana laughs.

"So, dinner?"

"Eew, Quinn. Wash your hands first."

Quinn laughs as she walks back to the bathroom.

Santana looks around the apartment and smiles. She shrugs out of her coat and smilingly mutters to herself, "I guess I'm home."

* * *

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